MOMENTS SUCH AS THESE

I am and have always been very independent. I moved out right after graduating and never turned back.. I moved out in June and my parents left that next March for Houston.. My parents and my sister live in Houston and the rest of my family live in Tennessee.. I always say how we need to get back there and visit but we have continued to live our life and  procrastinate. It's moments such as these you wish you had not procrastinated taking that trip to see your family.. When your phone is your only way to get updates via text.. Hearing a family member is basically dieing and all you can do is sit on the other end and pray... To get a text that your family member is now on a ventilater .... It's moments such as these you would do anything to be there.. To hug your family.. To be a shoulder to lean on and have a shoulder to lean on... When your cleaning and suddenly start crying ... When you sit and reflect on life and begin to feel alone...  It hurts... When your stomach is cringing and feels so empty..  It is moments such as these that make you realize the importance of family..

I sit and pray... pray the Lord doesn't take her.. It is moments such as these you know you need to be right where your heart is and that is with the family....

Much Love,
Jamie

HEAVY HEART

I am a friend.. A friend that has a heart.. A friend who isn't there just in the good times but also in the worst of times.. If they hurt I hurt... As June 12 is creeping up I just want to hug one of my dearest friends and take the pain away or at least make it easier to cope with.. But as we all know life doesn't give us that option.. June 12.. Many of you are I am sure wondering what June 12 is.. 1 year ago June 12, 2011 one of my dearest friends whom I Love to death and her husband and sons kissed their beautiful daughter/sister for the last time... The pain they endured .. The pain of losing a child.. No parent should ever have to endure the pain they felt and continue to feel daily..

Sophee Olivia Widner born November 23, 2010... Born with full Trisomy 18... Dr's said she would not make it to birth... Sophee proved them wrong.. Dr's said if she did she would only live hours.. Sophee proved them wrong.. Dr's said she would never be stable enough to have heart surgery.. Sophee proved them wrong yet again.. Dr's said she would never show emotion or thrive... Sophee latched on a few times, and showed emotion... Dr's said she would never go home.. Guess what , wrong again... She was such a tiny one but SO STRONG and ready to conquer the world .. There were very few days her mommy did not have a bow on her.. She was always full of cuteness.. Everyday Summer her mommy would post a daily picture.. It made my day.. Wednesday June 8 I went and spent the evening with Summer and talking to Sophee and her big brown eyes would look at me.. She was just perfect in my eyes and to her family....I could have set there forever... I took bows and flowers of course.. Even in PICU she had a bow holder... Sophee was such a fighter and fought until she took her last breath in her mommy's arms on June 12, 2011...

That day my heart crushed for Summer and the family and Sophee will forever hold a little piece of my heart... Those next days everyone was quiet.. Tears shed.. I did make a bow at her moms request.. That was hard knowing I was making a bow to match her daughters outfit she was going to be buried in .. But it also touched me... Heavy Hearts...But nothing compares to what Summer and the family felt.. I can't even begin to imagine the pain they felt or the pain they feel today ...

So June 12, release a balloon or 2 for sweet Sophee's first ANGELVERSARY and keep Summer and Jimmy and the boys in your prayers on this day.. Say a prayer.. And don't forget to hug your kids a little tighter and even when they drive you nuts, Thank God we have them here with us.. Never underestimate your children.. Never take the for granted.. Never go to bed with out saying I love you and with a kiss and a hug.. You never know what the future holds.. what the next 10 minutes hold..

Please remember Summer and her family and pray for their broken hearts.. Remember their sweet Angel Sophee...

                              SOPHEE OLIVIA WIDNER

                                     11-23-10 / 6-12-11

                     201 DAYS SHE BLESSED THIS EARTH

                        LOVE AND MISS YOU BABY GIRL

I LOVE YOU SUMMER ... YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME GIRL........ MISS YOU LITTLE MISS TUTU....BLOWING  KISSES UP TO YOU AS YOUR FIRST ANGELVERSARY APPROACHES .... MAY YOU WATCH OVER YOUR DEAR PARENTS AND SIBLINGS ON THIS DAY AND ALWAYS......

MUCH LOVE,
Jamie

CATCHING UP........

Craziness!!! That one word really could sum up the past couple of months and the ones we soon will be entering.. I am not sure where this school year went.. I can't quite grasp the realization that my baby will be in 3rd grade !!! .... We have been busy with projects, Birthdays, end of year parties and planning a baby shower...
Kayleigh turned 8 in April and I had a birthday in April ... Then on to May Hubby had a birthday and Kenz turned 3 and it fell on Mothers day... Lot's of Justin's family had birthdays in May.. Pregnancies.. So many friends and family are/were expecting ... So many babies coming into the world.... Beautiful moments... Justin's cousin wasn't due to have her baby boy till July but got HELP syndrome.. (Google it) She had to have an emergency c-section at 31 weeks.. Sweet Nolan Oliver was born May 10 weighing in at a whopping 4.4 lbs ( I think that is right and as of tonight he is at 5 lbs.. He has not had any issues breathing and has needed NO assistants breathing ... He recently got moved to an open crib .. He can now hold his own body temp with no problem... takes bottle like a champ and is still working on nursing but over all he is a miracle.. He has angels watching over him...
June 12 is approaching .... June 12 .... One of my very best friends lost her daughter at 201 days of life on June 12, 2011...  Sophee Olivia... Born with full Trisomy 18 and made such an impact on the world... Summer Knows I am here if she needs me but this is a very rough/tough emotional time so if she needs me I am here but I think spending these days with her family is best... It hurts to have a friend in so much emotional pain and you just wish you could help minimize the pain and take it away but life does not work like that... So many memories come flooding back when I reflect on this time last year... Going to the hospital , talking to Soph, It hurts .. I am not the mother but it still hurts... Please keep Sophee's mom, dad, and brothers in your prayers as this day of heartache is approaching...
The kids get out for the Summer Tuesday and I have to finish baby Oliver's shower.. That will be here July 7 and Ollie is angel Soph's baby brother... He will be making his debut in July ... Finishing up the shower all while trying to entertain kids shall be interesting....
We want so badly to take a vacation especially now that hubby is on salary and gets 2 weeks of vacation, but we will see...
I have been pretty darn healthy this year and BAM out of no where I have an awful sinus infection ... It makes for those daily TO DO things a little harder when you can't breath and you feel as if you're sinus cavity and head are gonna blow..
Well, looks like Summer is here.. I am stocked up on otter pops , fun outdoor games, and sunscreen... Life is just moving right along and could slow down anytime but I'll take it as is and run with it...
pictures to come but this mama is hitting the hay for tonight...

MUCH LOVE,
Jamie

8 years..................

8 years ago tonight, April 26, 2004 I was overdue and anxious.. We were more than ready to meet our first child.. Our baby girl. I was not in any discomfort and to be honest I had the PERFECT pregnancy everything was perfect from day of conception!! The only thing that I as a first time mommy to be was worried about was I had tested positive for group B.. No big deal but again as a first time mommy to be I was alarmed.. HA.. In all honesty I could have probably gone another 2 weeks and felt fine. But we were anxious, we wanted to meet this baby girl.. So there we were in Whole Foods looking for rasberry leaf tea, and next to Walmart looking for castor oil.. Yes I did it, totally drank the bottle of castor oil mixed with OJ and made 4 bags of the strongest tea  possible... The tea was horrible... I got in shower and crawled in bed feeling a tad woozy and felt I could puke at any given moment.. Finally I fell asleep.. Justin's alarm went off at 5 am and he got ready for work.. I rolled (literally) out of bed to pee... and laughed while thinking to myself what a joke that junk is not gonna put me in labor.. Hubby kissed me goodbye and asked how I was feeling. Fine.. Back to sleep I went and around 9 am I was woken by these cramps.. I assumed the castor oil had done what it usually does... Makes you poop.. As I went to the bathroom it was bloody show, and the cramps were not what I thought , They were coming on and off every 5 min or so.... SO IT WAS EITHER TIME OR THE CASTOR OIL AND TEA WORKED... On April 27 2004 Justin came home from work and off we went to Hospital.. I was 4 cm dilated and in labor... After laboring all day Kayleigh Madison came in to this world 4/27/2004 9:07 pm weighing in at 8.8 lbs and 21 in long.......... A beautiful blessing ... Our first born.. Our daughter.. Kayleigh, you teach me daily , Even though we don't see eye to eye on everything you are my girl and I love you so much. I am the person I am today because of you baby girl.. I can't believe its been 8 years... It feels like we were just coming home from hospital... 8 years of pure bliss.. I thank God picked me to be your mom.. Happy Birthday Lu Bird I love you to the moon and back .............

I LOVE YOU BABY GIRL... HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY

IT FALLS ON EASTER THIS YEAR

4 years.. Tomorrow marks 4 years since the tragic death of my mother.. It does not feel like 4 years... These last 4 years have really opened me up to the Lord, new relationships, and another little one.. Not that my mother was in my life 4 years ago... She had been a heavy and when I say heavy I mean heavy drinker since I was just a wee one.. It only got worse and she just slowly turned to shambles... Even though I did not allow my self a relationship with this once beautiful woman, She is my mom and it was not until I was 14 I chose to not have much to do with her.. Being around her caused more pain then happiness and I could not do it...

I wanted to just say ... HAPPY EASTER MOTHER.. I LOVE YOU..
She is in a much better place.. not on the streets... she is an angel at peace....

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL....
MUCH LOVE
Jamie

WE SEEM TO FORGET ....

Waking up.. Making beds.. Throwing a load of laundry in.. Cleaning bathrooms... Kids wake up.. Get one ready for school .. Wake the other to take sissy.. Back home.. Cook breakfast.. Clean kitchen.. More laundry.. Clean floors.. Pick up the toys and put them away......................... And this is where I fall guilty of a routine that consist of YES A CLEAN HOME but that load of laundry can wait, the dishes are not going any where ... And obsessing over the finger prints on the fridge really should not be a priority over my sweet lil ones but I am ashamed to say it has been.. They grow so quickly and being so busy with my daily routines I often over look the imagination coming from my Kenzers as she pretends to cook, feed her baby, etc.. Before you know it is dinner time then baths and then bed and when I crawl into bed exhausted I take a moment and reflect  on the day that is coming to an end I feel this over load of guilt.. Is cleaning the floors so much more important than letting them slide one day and sitting down to watch a Muppet movie with kenz, to go color on the sidewalk with chalk, to color and do our abc's .... When Kayleigh gets home I should take some time and take them to the park before homework.. I have a very high strong personality and hate when things are out of place but these are kids... They are gonna drag toys out and I need to learn to go with the flow, and llet them be kids... I get so caught up on a routine but that routine needs a few adjustments ... Please tell me I am not the only mom that seems to forget how quickly our kids grow and get so caught up on our daily house chores we seem to put cleaning over playing dolls, trucks etc with our kids.... Time for a change.....
Much Love,
Jamie

SISTERS....

Oh how the memories came flooding back to me as we prepared to welcome our 2nd baby girl to the world.. We felt so blessed and we're over joyed with another girl.. Through the joy and excitement memories of me and my sister came flooding back... If you grew up with a sister (younger-older) you know where I am going with this.. Lindsey and I fought worse than boys!! We were at each other 24/7... We were so mean one another and although I looked up to her that did not keep my feisty girl attitude at bay.. I will throw this out there 5 years between kids is TOO LONG! Her and I were 4 and Kay and Kenz are 5 and its rough... Even with a 5 yr difference those two are at it every second they are around one another, but still say their good nights and I love yous. Even when we drop Kay at school there isn't a morning they don't exchange I love you.. It melts my heart.. Kenz looks up to her sister and it reminds me so much of me as a wee one.. I wanted to hang out with my sister and her friends, I wanted to wear makeup, I idolized her and Kenz is the same way.. I have to remind Kay that everything she does, says, acts, is being absorbed my her little sister. We tell Kay that she has to be the bigger one and set examples for her to follow... Kay is almost 8 and is driven nuts by her little sister all while loving her at the same time.. I explain to Kay that I was that the pest at one time and I drove my sister nuts but remind her how blessed she is to have a sister cause ONE day she will look back and appreciate having a sister.

Having a sister is having a true best friend.. Linds and I can talk for hours... I have missed our relationship these last few years as we let things come between us but our Awesome God got us past these humps in the road and regardless of what ever down fall comes our way I know her and I are sisters and our love will never change, and the what ever disagreement it was to cause the down fall will be thrown in the past and as friends sometimes seem to hold grudges a sister will not.. 

Lindsey is 4 yrs older than I am and no kids.. She loves to call and chat with the girls.. They get so excited to talk to their Aunty Lindsey and its so cute..... Last time me and Linds saw one another was a;most 4 yrs in April, at my mothers funeral. I have missed her to no end and she is coming out MARCH 1!!!!!!!!  I am so excited... Sisters are your other half.. your guardian angels, and as we start off in life fighting and not being the best of friends, remember as we grow into adults the bond you have with your sister is everlasting and something to cherish....... 

Just a little EXCITEMENT and teaching my girls that one day they will be best friends and to never stop loving one another unconditionally .... 

On a side note ... Justin's cousin is having a baby boy and I am so excited to spoil him...Rochelle and Ryan are due any day with a sweet baby boy ... all these babes !!!!!!!!!!! I spoiled baby Turri and ready to start spoiling baby March.... 

Much Love, 

Jamie

WE DECKED THE HALLS... RANG IN A NEW YEAR... AND THEN CAME VALENTINES DAY....

I have been such a slacker... Last I posted was in November and here we are already in FEBRUARY!!! We had a wonderful holiday season ... Christmas was so blissful. I adore and feel so blessed having children of my own to capture these memories such as their faces on Christmas morning... I have quite a story for Kayleigh and Kenzie when they get older ... Kayleigh came in our room on Christmas morning and was so excited.. She had already gone through her stocking and well obviously her sisters too. As she started to announce what santa had put in her stocking I had to stop my self from laughing as I had pulled this stunt with my very own sister when I was younger.. She had switched several items in the stockings.... I finally said oh dear maybe santa was in such a rush and you should share some with sissy.... Kids ... We had a wonderful day and feel so blessed to have such an amazing family to celebrate with.. New YEARS... This was the first New Years in years I made it till 12... We did not do much but it was a lovely evening in and safer to stay in then to be out and about.... SO sorry for the delay but Happy 2012... We have done some major remodeling and what a difference it makes on a house...  Hard work but it pays off in the end.. We still have our room and bathroom... Oh and laundry room ... Thanks to my new addiction PINTEREST I have several ideas for the laundry room ..:) The Kids are growing and changing by the minute... Kay and I have finally started to regain a relationship.. She will pull her attitude but seems to always come and apologize.. Hey it's a step  in the right direction.. She is finally taking responsibility for her actions when before she would just blow them off and we'd just keep plowing through our day/night... Kenz is wanting to go to sleep IN HER BED... WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has always laid with me while Justin took a shower and I would put her to sleep... She is speaking in full blown sentences... Hannah is 6 months and into EVERYTHING.. Most days I feel like she is my 3rd child... Cute as can be but she is exhausting to say the least... Today was Valentines day and we have never been ones to celebrate much but we still leave little notes and what not... I took Kenz to Build a Bear and it was her first time.. She was having a blast and made a sweet monkey ... I made Kay a Hello Kitty necklace and she got a dvd and a sweet bear from dad... Time is flying and I am so ready to get into Spring and start exercising and gardening and just being out doors... I can wait for the girls turning 8 and 3..... My sister is coming out at the end of March and I am so darn excited... The girls can't wait either... Justins cousin is due with her first baby in July and I am so EXCITED.. Another baby to the family.. She finds out the 22 what she will be having and I can't wait... I have been buying BOY stuff for a friend Rochelle and Ryan who are due with a sweet baby boy beginning of March and I have had a blast with all the boy stuff.. I know all you who have boys wish you could buy girl stuff but us with girls feel the same... Babies everywhere..... I have some pictures but I am off to bed tonight.. I will update the last few months with pictures tomorrow..

MUCH LOVE
Jamie

INTRODUCING HANNAH....

Here is the newest member of the Rawls family.. Hannah

Much Love
Jamie

TAKING A PEEK INTO OUR LIFE LATELY...

Life has been a wee bit on the CRAZY side. It all began with a short but lovely visit from my parents. They flew in Friday Nov 18 and out the 20th. Short but wonderful. That Sunday they left we noticed a mass that had been on our Sophie dogs foot suddenly get huge very hot to the touch and things seemed to get worse. Monday came and I was upset stressed and knew. I called our vet and was adament on who I would see. Years ago I worked there and Dayna was a tech. She now is Dr Pauly and has a background with boxers. She is who I wanted my Sophie dog to be in the care of.
We got an appt. Her last appt of the day. I took her and Justin met me there. He said he did not understand why he needed to go ( In the back of my head I knew... I knew this was not going to be a quick fix appt ) but I knew Justin had not came to that point. Dayna took her back to see what we were dealing with cell wise...
20 min went by and as she walked by in she did not even need to say the words.  I knew. I knew it was not good news. Tears started flowing from each of us even Dayna. We knew it was time. It was too late to do anything that night and we had the kids with us which is not something I felt kids should witness and especially when she has been your daughters best friend since the day we brought her home from hospital...
Dayna did not work on Tuesday and I only wanted her to be the one who started our Sophie dogs new journey into Heaven. So I thought to my self this is Angel Sophee girls first birthday and a feeling came over me. A feeling of there is no better date I would want Sophie dog leaving this earth. My friends daughter who passed  June 12 would get such a glorious gift as her first birthday was Nov 23. We took kids to in laws and had an appt set for 12:00 Wed the 23. Kay had wanted to paint her nails so we did that morning. It hurt walking out of our house knowing we would not be returning with Soph. Hubby and I balled like babies and Dayna was so kind sat on floor with us shared some tears and even some laughs. That was our first child. 10 years of great memories.
Sophia you were a damn good dog. You are loved and missed... We will all meet again.

Daddy promised Kay a pup! I have alot more to catch you up on. Off to bed but will finish my updates tomorrow and introduce Hannah! Hannah is the newest Rawls.

Much Love

Jamie

WHERE OH WHERE......................

When I was just a little girl I remember wanting so bad to be older.  Pretending to drive my grandma's car, sneaking my sisters makeup.. Oh how I just wanted to be older!  Fast forward 20 years and as I tuck my kiddos into bed I wonder when they grew to be such big girls.  Where did my babies go? Kayleigh prefers her hair straightened in the morning, and Kenz has an input on what shoes she wants to wear that day... It seems like I was just seeing 2 pink lines or the words PREGNANT..  I love watching my girls grow and learn more than I ever did at their ages. Being a mom is simply amazing and I am thankful Our Lord trusted me to raise these children of God.

This year has gone by so fast... I sit and try to recollect all the memories through out the last year. It seems almost impossible Thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away and Christmas is so close.. HOW??? I just can't seem to put into realization that in just a blink of an eye we will be grandparents.. SCARY..

Makes me want to spend every sec I can with my family. I dare not miss a single moment in my kid's life...Kenny Chesney has a song " Don't Blink" and it's so true...

Nothing new just some bittersweet thoughts...

Much Love,
Jamie

LIFE... SOMETIMES WE NEED TO STEP BACK AND TAKE A LOOK .....

JUST A QUOTE I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED!! AND IT FITS SO WELL WITH WHERE THIS BLOG IS GOING... 

Close to a month ago I suddenly was hit with an emotional road block. I sat there and took some time to revise my life... Where my priority's fell, who came first, the people I had in my life.... And it hit me like a ton of bricks.. I may not be the girl that goes to church on Sunday's, that prays at meal time, and yes shamefully I do have my sins, BUT I am a believer and do pray more often than not, I follow the paths he leads me down , and I am a child of God. He gave us this life but we choose how we want to live it, who we want in it, and where we go with it.. As I sat and revised my life, it was revolting.. I had let the demon in and found myself in a whirlwind of gossip.. I don't do gossip! I am so one that will come forward and express my feelings up front. I was so guilty of this vile behavior.  Who am I to make any judgement on ANYONE.  No one can make judgement on other's PLAIN & SIMPLE!! Due to this immature behavior I started to back out of certain peoples life's.  One person was a friend whom suffered a devastating loss and everyone was so focused on her grieving that it never dawned on ANY ONE that we do not know what it like.. The day I was hit with a huge pile of bricks, I sat there and asked for forgiveness. I changed that day. I opened my eyes and apologized. People making comments regarding personal choices, I did not respond, I simply said I don't know. I started to linger away from the negative behavior of others.  I started to pull closer to this heartbroken friend everyone had left in the drifts.. I am a true friend and will do anything for anyone, as most of you know.. I am a friend, a mother, a wife, an aunt, a daughter, and was raised with out my mother for the most part.. It hurt but as I grew older it became easier. My mother made some horrible choices through out her life and it lead to her death ( will be 4 yrs in April) and although it's different I needed a friend during this time and I know she may not come to me to talk about her loss or cry on my shoulder she still is hurting and I am still a friend.. It does not matter, I just want her to know regardless I AM HERE.. Not just for the good as she had mentioned in a blog of hers but for the bad as much as the good.. I have put God first to lead me, my family which mean the world to me and I am so blessed , and friends.. I have always been told and oh how true it is.. YOU DON'T NEED A HUNDRED FRIENDS , IF YOU HAVE ONE JUST ONE GOOD ONE that is good enough. My husband is my Best Friend and I have maybe a handful if that of friends and even smaller of GOOD friends. I tend to trust too easily, care too easily , give too easily, and always have.. I have only been a friend that is human and makes mistakes at times, but all in all a friend.. After revising my life I decided to put my focus on my MAKER, FAMILY , BUSINESS, AND TRUE FRIENDS.. It seemed quite mind blowing how the ones that were being so cruel backed away from me when they saw I had changed the way of my lifestyle.. I have been wanting to lay this all to rest and doing so feels awesome.. My point of this blog is  ~ Live your Life and let others live theirs with out being ridiculed ~ We were not put on this earth to judge others ~  A few more quotes and scriptures....

 this last one is something we all should remember daily..

Much Love,

Jamie

OCTOBER 15 NATIONAL PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS REMEMBRANCE DAY...

Having friends that have faced the harsh reality of loosing a child has made me want to show my support and raise awareness... Just wanted to say Bless our sweet angels and may they forever be remembered! A few pics of the candles I lit tonight... Hug your babies and even the moments you get angry at something silly remember how blessed you are to have them here with you... 

Much Love,
Jamie

SOMETHING ABOUT FALL.....

Every year I always find myself getting so antsy for the seasons' to change and it every year it seems like after the fair and balloon fiesta passes FALL approaches.. I love it.. My house is decked out in fall/Halloween decor and my scent in my Scentcy changes from the sweet smell of melon to pumpkin spice and cinnamon... Find my self putting the flip flops away and breaking out the uggs, ordering catalogs for Christmas ideas, changing my wreath on my front door, changing my flowers to cooler weather flowers... I do love Spring and Summer and our wonderful garden that did absolutely amazing this year and there is nothing like walking out your back door only to pick your produce but there is something about fall. Something that makes me step back and look at life.. The joy on the kids face when the leafs start to fall and they get to wear their new coats.. Watching them all dressed up on Halloween and how much fun they have.. Fall brings more joy and love to heart.. Having a beautiful family to spend the amazing holidays with makes me so thankful... As I grow older all these things seem to only get better and better... There is just something about Fall!!!

Much Love,
Jamie

BACK IN THE GRIND....

I have been such a slacker on the blogging end. Just a quick update... We are doing great. Kayleigh started 2nd grade and is going on 21!!! Man we are in trouble.. Kenz is just a monkey and growin like a weed. I have lots , well let me say that again, I have a few things to catch you up on but for now I will leave you with some pictures and my website (well my fan page ... soon to have a web site for my new little business. )

My girls.... and here is my site. Please go check it out! Thanks so much..
https://www.facebook.com/jamierawls82

Much Love,
Jamie

7 YEARS AGO....

So much I have learned in the last 7 yrs.. How incredibly BLESSED I am to have been given such an amazing gift.  7 years ago tonight I was so anxious to meet our beautiful baby girl that I read all the crazy stories about what can induce your labor. Mind you I was 5 days over due so we were ready.  I did the crazy Castor Oil and OJ and Rasberry Leaf Tea and took a shower.  Assuming no way would I go into labor I went to sleep only to wake up in the morning with a SHOW and contractions. Called my Dr and the nurse at the time told me it was probably early labor and could be days..WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!??????????
Really?! So I called Justin and he came home. We timed them and they were every 5 min and down to 3 min.  He said he felt we needed to go.  As the negativity of the typical over due pregnant momma says DON'T GRAB THE BAG I'M NEVER GONNA HAVE THIS BABY!  As first time parents we (more Justin) was a bit nervous. He will say different but seeming he left the back door open and did not even recall this till he had to return back home for the bag due to being at 4 cm and in full blown labor!!!! I am still not sure where these years have gone and wish I could express through the difficult days of dealing with a very independent child that the beautiful days out weigh those moments BY FAR. As I laid with her tonight and cuddled her I told her all about first meeting her and what a wonderful day it was and how she has forever changed our world. She was and is my world.  Embrace every moment cause before you know it we will be sending  them off to college.. These last 7 years have been full of wonderful memories!  They grow up so much in 7 years it's crazy. We are at the stage of starting to not see eye to eye all the time and the attitude but it's another stage of growing up. Some days are pure awful and I dread dealing with whats to come but I love my girl to the moon and back and wouldn't change a thing.  As a mother these are life lessons we wrapped our life around the day we found out we were pregnant.  I am just blown away at how fast time has flown and LOVE my daughter more than words can express and wishing my Lu a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND THANK YOU FOR A BEAUTIFUL 7 YEARS AND LOOK FORWARD TO WHAT GOD HAS IN STORE FOR YOU THE NEXT 7 YEARS !! I love you baby girl and have a GREAT 7th birthday! Kayleigh Madison Rawls 4/27/04 9:07 pm 8lbs 8 oz 21 in long ... God put his trust in us that day and gave us such a beautiful gift!

Happy Birthday big girl.. You have grown in to such a smart beautiful girl. I love you forever my sweet LU....

BUSY...BUSY...BUSY

I can't get over how fast 2011 is going!  I am full swing with Premier Design and PRAY this was the right decision.  As with any business you have your fears, and feel a little lost when you first start but I know God will lead me the right direction and help me through this new exciting journey!  So with that consuming me (which I have no complaints) I am also still struggeling with Kayleigh and her behavior, Kenz is hitting the terreble 2's and man oh man she is a a little cutie but gives me a run for my money.  Both dogs have mass's on them????!!!!??????  That calls for vet visits...  I am having dental work done which I dread but oral hygene is super important to me so gotta get it done... We all 4 have birthdays coming up... I am trying to book shows around those dates and around Easter and Mothers day... Justin built 3 out of 6 of my garden beds and they look great.. I will set aside time for my gardening!!! Kay was off for Spring Break and returns tomorrow. We will be heading out to North Carolina in June.. I am not in in front of Calander so not sure exact dates but we will be flying out ( This will be very interesting seeming Kenz hates sitting...) and having a consult with Dr. Jeffery Marcus at Duke regarding Kayleigh's facial paralysis and the procedure we hope to get scheduled.. SMILE SURGERY.. She is not having any part of the idea right now but we will see once we talk with him. Just wanted to update on life lately..  Busy as a Bee and lovin it... I have some super cute pics to post but I am off to bed.  Oh as lots of sickness has gone around we have managed to stay pretty darn healthy this year!!!! Thats a blessing for sure. Hope your all doing well....

Much Love,
Jamie

My quote lately...NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR SELF... ALTHOUGH SOME THINGS COME HARDER FOR YOU ..TAKE YOUR TIME AND ASK GOD TO HELP LEAD YOU... YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO SMART, THERE'S ALWAYS MORE TO LEARN IN LIFE.. DON'T GIVE UP...

OH THE DIY BLOGS HAVE TAKIN OVER.... AND THEN GARDENING....

Thanks to a dear ole friend ROCHELLE for introducing a diy blog that has gottin my crafty booty dusted off and back to crafting!  I had in my head what I wanted to do, from pillows to makin an old entertainment center into a play kitchen, to stenciling, and the ideas kept pouring.. I had a list of (well let's get honost )I HAVE a list of all these cute and cheap diy projects and I WILL do them. Very possibly in a no rush manner but with weather changing and SPRING is just a leap away im so excited to start. Now some may be pushed on back burner due to GARDENING!  We are expanding our garden and will have 5 raised beds this year..Lot's more growin like blackberrys, blueberrys, rasberrys, and curious on grapes?!? SO  my idea would have to be drawn for you to see.... BUT I want 1 bed for zuchinni, eggplant, squash,  and cucumbers... 1 bed for peas, beans, brussel sprouts, okra and MAYBE pickels! 1 bed for my jalapenos, all my chili plants, peppers, tomatillos! 1 bed for tomato's, onions,carrots, radish's spinach, broccoli, artichoke, lettuce.. and maybe starting my asperagus this year though it takes a good 2 yrs to get goin. And must not forget the watermelon, cataulope, and TONS of strawberrys... We will be planting the berry bushes along wall so they can grow up something.. Jus is gonna build me a white picket fence to go around my pride and joys! I plan on making a smaller bed for my seasonings( cilantro, oregano, catnip :), parsely, and more....OH GARDENING HOW I LOVE YOU AND SPENDING MY VERY EARLY MORNINGS WITH YOU A CUP OF JOE AND THE POLLINATING BEES!!!

So back to these diy blogs, any of you ever interested in hitting antique outlets lets go.... buy neat things that make even neater things!!! :) I have adventured on to other blogs and there is one below that inspired me to get the girls white shirts for st pattis and the rest is left to be viewed of what is to come of the white tees....! view her blog below!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....off to bed I go for ballet in the am and maybe some antique stores .....
Much Love,
Jamie

icandy handmade: (tutorial & giveaway) shamrock chic

icandy handmade: (tutorial & giveaway) shamrock chic: "Once Valentine's Day passed {with a daughter that was so thrilled to have a cute festive shirt}, my thoughts turned to St. Patrick's Day, li..."

LIVING LIFE IN THE FAST LANE...

As I was watching Kenz chaseing the cat while meowing in her own little way and hissing , I looked at Justin and said " why does life move so fast? " I then stated how bittersweet the smallest moments like her hissing atg the cats brought tears to my eyes. She is our last kiddo and I am having a hard time with the reality that she will be 2 in just a blink of an eye. I wish there was a slow lane in life! So we could absorb every little peice of our precious childrens life! I try to absorb these bittersweet moments but being a mom of 2 we seem to miss some things. They may be small but to a mom they are the most precious memories... CHERISH THE SMALL THINGS IN LIFE FOR ONE DAY THE SMALL THINGS WILL BE BIG! I miss the days of feeling her in my belly. The anticipation of when she'd arrive in to the world. The day she blessed our life with her presence. Kayleigh will be a teenager before we know it and my baby is growing up way to quick. Sorry, I am a tad weepy watching my last baby girl develop into this toddeler.. Life in the fast lane needs to slow down a few notches. I just cherish these moments knowing it wont be long and she will be off to school... Just bloggin my thoughts...

MUCH LOVE,

JAMIE