OUR FAMILY OF 4

OUR FAMILY OF 4

OUR LOVE IS FOREVER

JUSTIN & JAMIE Daisypath Anniversary tickers

RAISING AWARENESS

I AM A CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS ADVOCATE .. I AM A TRISOMY AWARENESS ADVOCATE .. AND SHARE MY SUPPORT FOR ALL INFANT/CHILD LOSS .. September is Childhood Cancer Awearness Month!

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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

MOMENTS SUCH AS THESE

I am and have always been very independent. I moved out right after graduating and never turned back.. I moved out in June and my parents left that next March for Houston.. My parents and my sister live in Houston and the rest of my family live in Tennessee.. I always say how we need to get back there and visit but we have continued to live our life and  procrastinate. It's moments such as these you wish you had not procrastinated taking that trip to see your family.. When your phone is your only way to get updates via text.. Hearing a family member is basically dieing and all you can do is sit on the other end and pray... To get a text that your family member is now on a ventilater .... It's moments such as these you would do anything to be there.. To hug your family.. To be a shoulder to lean on and have a shoulder to lean on... When your cleaning and suddenly start crying ... When you sit and reflect on life and begin to feel alone...  It hurts... When your stomach is cringing and feels so empty..  It is moments such as these that make you realize the importance of family..

I sit and pray... pray the Lord doesn't take her.. It is moments such as these you know you need to be right where your heart is and that is with the family....

Much Love,
Jamie

Sunday, June 10, 2012

HEAVY HEART

I am a friend.. A friend that has a heart.. A friend who isn't there just in the good times but also in the worst of times.. If they hurt I hurt... As June 12 is creeping up I just want to hug one of my dearest friends and take the pain away or at least make it easier to cope with.. But as we all know life doesn't give us that option.. June 12.. Many of you are I am sure wondering what June 12 is.. 1 year ago June 12, 2011 one of my dearest friends whom I Love to death and her husband and sons kissed their beautiful daughter/sister for the last time... The pain they endured .. The pain of losing a child.. No parent should ever have to endure the pain they felt and continue to feel daily..

Sophee Olivia Widner born November 23, 2010... Born with full Trisomy 18... Dr's said she would not make it to birth... Sophee proved them wrong.. Dr's said if she did she would only live hours.. Sophee proved them wrong.. Dr's said she would never be stable enough to have heart surgery.. Sophee proved them wrong yet again.. Dr's said she would never show emotion or thrive... Sophee latched on a few times, and showed emotion... Dr's said she would never go home.. Guess what , wrong again... She was such a tiny one but SO STRONG and ready to conquer the world .. There were very few days her mommy did not have a bow on her.. She was always full of cuteness.. Everyday Summer her mommy would post a daily picture.. It made my day.. Wednesday June 8 I went and spent the evening with Summer and talking to Sophee and her big brown eyes would look at me.. She was just perfect in my eyes and to her family....I could have set there forever... I took bows and flowers of course.. Even in PICU she had a bow holder... Sophee was such a fighter and fought until she took her last breath in her mommy's arms on June 12, 2011...

That day my heart crushed for Summer and the family and Sophee will forever hold a little piece of my heart... Those next days everyone was quiet.. Tears shed.. I did make a bow at her moms request.. That was hard knowing I was making a bow to match her daughters outfit she was going to be buried in .. But it also touched me... Heavy Hearts...But nothing compares to what Summer and the family felt.. I can't even begin to imagine the pain they felt or the pain they feel today ...

So June 12, release a balloon or 2 for sweet Sophee's first ANGELVERSARY and keep Summer and Jimmy and the boys in your prayers on this day.. Say a prayer.. And don't forget to hug your kids a little tighter and even when they drive you nuts, Thank God we have them here with us.. Never underestimate your children.. Never take the for granted.. Never go to bed with out saying I love you and with a kiss and a hug.. You never know what the future holds.. what the next 10 minutes hold..

Please remember Summer and her family and pray for their broken hearts.. Remember their sweet Angel Sophee...

                              SOPHEE OLIVIA WIDNER
                                     11-23-10 / 6-12-11
                     201 DAYS SHE BLESSED THIS EARTH
                        LOVE AND MISS YOU BABY GIRL





I LOVE YOU SUMMER ... YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME GIRL........ MISS YOU LITTLE MISS TUTU....BLOWING  KISSES UP TO YOU AS YOUR FIRST ANGELVERSARY APPROACHES .... MAY YOU WATCH OVER YOUR DEAR PARENTS AND SIBLINGS ON THIS DAY AND ALWAYS......

MUCH LOVE,
Jamie

Sunday, May 27, 2012

CATCHING UP........

Craziness!!! That one word really could sum up the past couple of months and the ones we soon will be entering.. I am not sure where this school year went.. I can't quite grasp the realization that my baby will be in 3rd grade !!! .... We have been busy with projects, Birthdays, end of year parties and planning a baby shower...
Kayleigh turned 8 in April and I had a birthday in April ... Then on to May Hubby had a birthday and Kenz turned 3 and it fell on Mothers day... Lot's of Justin's family had birthdays in May.. Pregnancies.. So many friends and family are/were expecting ... So many babies coming into the world.... Beautiful moments... Justin's cousin wasn't due to have her baby boy till July but got HELP syndrome.. (Google it) She had to have an emergency c-section at 31 weeks.. Sweet Nolan Oliver was born May 10 weighing in at a whopping 4.4 lbs ( I think that is right and as of tonight he is at 5 lbs.. He has not had any issues breathing and has needed NO assistants breathing ... He recently got moved to an open crib .. He can now hold his own body temp with no problem... takes bottle like a champ and is still working on nursing but over all he is a miracle.. He has angels watching over him...
June 12 is approaching .... June 12 .... One of my very best friends lost her daughter at 201 days of life on June 12, 2011...  Sophee Olivia... Born with full Trisomy 18 and made such an impact on the world... Summer Knows I am here if she needs me but this is a very rough/tough emotional time so if she needs me I am here but I think spending these days with her family is best... It hurts to have a friend in so much emotional pain and you just wish you could help minimize the pain and take it away but life does not work like that... So many memories come flooding back when I reflect on this time last year... Going to the hospital , talking to Soph, It hurts .. I am not the mother but it still hurts... Please keep Sophee's mom, dad, and brothers in your prayers as this day of heartache is approaching...
The kids get out for the Summer Tuesday and I have to finish baby Oliver's shower.. That will be here July 7 and Ollie is angel Soph's baby brother... He will be making his debut in July ... Finishing up the shower all while trying to entertain kids shall be interesting....
We want so badly to take a vacation especially now that hubby is on salary and gets 2 weeks of vacation, but we will see...
I have been pretty darn healthy this year and BAM out of no where I have an awful sinus infection ... It makes for those daily TO DO things a little harder when you can't breath and you feel as if you're sinus cavity and head are gonna blow..
Well, looks like Summer is here.. I am stocked up on otter pops , fun outdoor games, and sunscreen... Life is just moving right along and could slow down anytime but I'll take it as is and run with it...
pictures to come but this mama is hitting the hay for tonight...

MUCH LOVE,
Jamie

Thursday, April 26, 2012

8 years..................

8 years ago tonight, April 26, 2004 I was overdue and anxious.. We were more than ready to meet our first child.. Our baby girl. I was not in any discomfort and to be honest I had the PERFECT pregnancy everything was perfect from day of conception!! The only thing that I as a first time mommy to be was worried about was I had tested positive for group B.. No big deal but again as a first time mommy to be I was alarmed.. HA.. In all honesty I could have probably gone another 2 weeks and felt fine. But we were anxious, we wanted to meet this baby girl.. So there we were in Whole Foods looking for rasberry leaf tea, and next to Walmart looking for castor oil.. Yes I did it, totally drank the bottle of castor oil mixed with OJ and made 4 bags of the strongest tea  possible... The tea was horrible... I got in shower and crawled in bed feeling a tad woozy and felt I could puke at any given moment.. Finally I fell asleep.. Justin's alarm went off at 5 am and he got ready for work.. I rolled (literally) out of bed to pee... and laughed while thinking to myself what a joke that junk is not gonna put me in labor.. Hubby kissed me goodbye and asked how I was feeling. Fine.. Back to sleep I went and around 9 am I was woken by these cramps.. I assumed the castor oil had done what it usually does... Makes you poop.. As I went to the bathroom it was bloody show, and the cramps were not what I thought , They were coming on and off every 5 min or so.... SO IT WAS EITHER TIME OR THE CASTOR OIL AND TEA WORKED... On April 27 2004 Justin came home from work and off we went to Hospital.. I was 4 cm dilated and in labor... After laboring all day Kayleigh Madison came in to this world 4/27/2004 9:07 pm weighing in at 8.8 lbs and 21 in long.......... A beautiful blessing ... Our first born.. Our daughter.. Kayleigh, you teach me daily , Even though we don't see eye to eye on everything you are my girl and I love you so much. I am the person I am today because of you baby girl.. I can't believe its been 8 years... It feels like we were just coming home from hospital... 8 years of pure bliss.. I thank God picked me to be your mom.. Happy Birthday Lu Bird I love you to the moon and back .............
I LOVE YOU BABY GIRL... HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY



Saturday, April 7, 2012

IT FALLS ON EASTER THIS YEAR

4 years.. Tomorrow marks 4 years since the tragic death of my mother.. It does not feel like 4 years... These last 4 years have really opened me up to the Lord, new relationships, and another little one.. Not that my mother was in my life 4 years ago... She had been a heavy and when I say heavy I mean heavy drinker since I was just a wee one.. It only got worse and she just slowly turned to shambles... Even though I did not allow my self a relationship with this once beautiful woman, She is my mom and it was not until I was 14 I chose to not have much to do with her.. Being around her caused more pain then happiness and I could not do it...

I wanted to just say ... HAPPY EASTER MOTHER.. I LOVE YOU..
She is in a much better place.. not on the streets... she is an angel at peace....

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL....
MUCH LOVE
Jamie

Sunday, March 11, 2012

WE SEEM TO FORGET ....

Waking up.. Making beds.. Throwing a load of laundry in.. Cleaning bathrooms... Kids wake up.. Get one ready for school .. Wake the other to take sissy.. Back home.. Cook breakfast.. Clean kitchen.. More laundry.. Clean floors.. Pick up the toys and put them away......................... And this is where I fall guilty of a routine that consist of YES A CLEAN HOME but that load of laundry can wait, the dishes are not going any where ... And obsessing over the finger prints on the fridge really should not be a priority over my sweet lil ones but I am ashamed to say it has been.. They grow so quickly and being so busy with my daily routines I often over look the imagination coming from my Kenzers as she pretends to cook, feed her baby, etc.. Before you know it is dinner time then baths and then bed and when I crawl into bed exhausted I take a moment and reflect  on the day that is coming to an end I feel this over load of guilt.. Is cleaning the floors so much more important than letting them slide one day and sitting down to watch a Muppet movie with kenz, to go color on the sidewalk with chalk, to color and do our abc's .... When Kayleigh gets home I should take some time and take them to the park before homework.. I have a very high strong personality and hate when things are out of place but these are kids... They are gonna drag toys out and I need to learn to go with the flow, and llet them be kids... I get so caught up on a routine but that routine needs a few adjustments ... Please tell me I am not the only mom that seems to forget how quickly our kids grow and get so caught up on our daily house chores we seem to put cleaning over playing dolls, trucks etc with our kids.... Time for a change.....
Much Love,
Jamie

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

SISTERS....

Oh how the memories came flooding back to me as we prepared to welcome our 2nd baby girl to the world.. We felt so blessed and we're over joyed with another girl.. Through the joy and excitement memories of me and my sister came flooding back... If you grew up with a sister (younger-older) you know where I am going with this.. Lindsey and I fought worse than boys!! We were at each other 24/7... We were so mean one another and although I looked up to her that did not keep my feisty girl attitude at bay.. I will throw this out there 5 years between kids is TOO LONG! Her and I were 4 and Kay and Kenz are 5 and its rough... Even with a 5 yr difference those two are at it every second they are around one another, but still say their good nights and I love yous. Even when we drop Kay at school there isn't a morning they don't exchange I love you.. It melts my heart.. Kenz looks up to her sister and it reminds me so much of me as a wee one.. I wanted to hang out with my sister and her friends, I wanted to wear makeup, I idolized her and Kenz is the same way.. I have to remind Kay that everything she does, says, acts, is being absorbed my her little sister. We tell Kay that she has to be the bigger one and set examples for her to follow... Kay is almost 8 and is driven nuts by her little sister all while loving her at the same time.. I explain to Kay that I was that the pest at one time and I drove my sister nuts but remind her how blessed she is to have a sister cause ONE day she will look back and appreciate having a sister.
Having a sister is having a true best friend.. Linds and I can talk for hours... I have missed our relationship these last few years as we let things come between us but our Awesome God got us past these humps in the road and regardless of what ever down fall comes our way I know her and I are sisters and our love will never change, and the what ever disagreement it was to cause the down fall will be thrown in the past and as friends sometimes seem to hold grudges a sister will not.. 
Lindsey is 4 yrs older than I am and no kids.. She loves to call and chat with the girls.. They get so excited to talk to their Aunty Lindsey and its so cute..... Last time me and Linds saw one another was a;most 4 yrs in April, at my mothers funeral. I have missed her to no end and she is coming out MARCH 1!!!!!!!!  I am so excited... Sisters are your other half.. your guardian angels, and as we start off in life fighting and not being the best of friends, remember as we grow into adults the bond you have with your sister is everlasting and something to cherish....... 
Just a little EXCITEMENT and teaching my girls that one day they will be best friends and to never stop loving one another unconditionally .... 

On a side note ... Justin's cousin is having a baby boy and I am so excited to spoil him...Rochelle and Ryan are due any day with a sweet baby boy ... all these babes !!!!!!!!!!! I spoiled baby Turri and ready to start spoiling baby March.... 

Much Love, 
Jamie

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

WE DECKED THE HALLS... RANG IN A NEW YEAR... AND THEN CAME VALENTINES DAY....

I have been such a slacker... Last I posted was in November and here we are already in FEBRUARY!!! We had a wonderful holiday season ... Christmas was so blissful. I adore and feel so blessed having children of my own to capture these memories such as their faces on Christmas morning... I have quite a story for Kayleigh and Kenzie when they get older ... Kayleigh came in our room on Christmas morning and was so excited.. She had already gone through her stocking and well obviously her sisters too. As she started to announce what santa had put in her stocking I had to stop my self from laughing as I had pulled this stunt with my very own sister when I was younger.. She had switched several items in the stockings.... I finally said oh dear maybe santa was in such a rush and you should share some with sissy.... Kids ... We had a wonderful day and feel so blessed to have such an amazing family to celebrate with.. New YEARS... This was the first New Years in years I made it till 12... We did not do much but it was a lovely evening in and safer to stay in then to be out and about.... SO sorry for the delay but Happy 2012... We have done some major remodeling and what a difference it makes on a house...  Hard work but it pays off in the end.. We still have our room and bathroom... Oh and laundry room ... Thanks to my new addiction PINTEREST I have several ideas for the laundry room ..:) The Kids are growing and changing by the minute... Kay and I have finally started to regain a relationship.. She will pull her attitude but seems to always come and apologize.. Hey it's a step  in the right direction.. She is finally taking responsibility for her actions when before she would just blow them off and we'd just keep plowing through our day/night... Kenz is wanting to go to sleep IN HER BED... WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has always laid with me while Justin took a shower and I would put her to sleep... She is speaking in full blown sentences... Hannah is 6 months and into EVERYTHING.. Most days I feel like she is my 3rd child... Cute as can be but she is exhausting to say the least... Today was Valentines day and we have never been ones to celebrate much but we still leave little notes and what not... I took Kenz to Build a Bear and it was her first time.. She was having a blast and made a sweet monkey ... I made Kay a Hello Kitty necklace and she got a dvd and a sweet bear from dad... Time is flying and I am so ready to get into Spring and start exercising and gardening and just being out doors... I can wait for the girls turning 8 and 3..... My sister is coming out at the end of March and I am so darn excited... The girls can't wait either... Justins cousin is due with her first baby in July and I am so EXCITED.. Another baby to the family.. She finds out the 22 what she will be having and I can't wait... I have been buying BOY stuff for a friend Rochelle and Ryan who are due with a sweet baby boy beginning of March and I have had a blast with all the boy stuff.. I know all you who have boys wish you could buy girl stuff but us with girls feel the same... Babies everywhere..... I have some pictures but I am off to bed tonight.. I will update the last few months with pictures tomorrow..

MUCH LOVE
Jamie